Ned gains the power to foretell people's deaths; Maggie is shrunk, then swallowed by Mr. Burns; in Victorian London, Detective Eliza Simpson and her sidekick, Dr. Bartley, pursue the Muttonchop Murderer.
Bart finds Homer's vintage Playdude magazines and decides to adopt the ring-a-ding-ding lifestyle of the 1970s.
Bart tries desperately to reunite Nelson with his family after Marge takes Nelson in, forcing Bart to share a bedroom with his tormentor.
Marge meets up with a former high-school pal (guest voice Kim Cattrall) who is now a famous news anchor, and she wonders if she made the right life choice.
When Bart writes slogans on T-shirts, he catches the attention of Goose Gladwell, a gag-gift entrepreneur, and soon becomes a T-shirt mogul; Homer feels he no longer has a place in the family when Bart becomes the breadwinner.
Homer, Grampa, Apu and Flanders travel to Canada to buy sorely needed prescription drugs with fake Canadian health-care cards.
Homer refinances the house to save Moe's Tavern and Marge, to protect the investment, decides to take a hands-on role as Moe's partner.
Homer's impromptu dance at a carnival leads to a job choreographing victory dances for sports stars Tom Brady, Warren Sapp, Michelle Kwan, Yao Ming and LeBron James.
After Bart is caught sneaking out to go to a rap concert, he fakes his own kidnapping, hiding in Kirk Van Houten's bachelor pad.
Homer tries to cash in on Springfield's new law allowing same-sex marriages by becoming an ordained minister via the Internet.
Fed up with Bart's unending torture, Lisa files a restraining order against her brother, which forces him to live in the back yard.
Homer must pretend to be Selma's husband so she can adopt a baby girl from China.
Homer buys an RV after his buddies convince him that Marge is trying to make all the financial decisions, and furious Marge makes him live in it.
In an attempt to prove to Shelbyville that Springfield is not a hick town, Marge convinces the town to fund a new concert hall.
Professor Frink uses an astrology machine to ease Bart and Lisa's bickering, giving them a sneak peek at their final days of high school.
When a leaky roof drives Homer to drink, he goes to the bar and befriends a beer-loving roofer (guest voice Ray Romano), who promises to help Homer with the repairs.
When Bart endangers his health by bingeing on vending-machine food, the Simpsons turn their home into a hostel in order to afford sending him to a forced starvation facility.
Lisa agrees to enter a Krusty-sponsored "Li'l Starmaker" competition and panics when another contestant (guest voice Fantasia Barrino) outperforms her.
Homer begins to study the Rapture and believes he knows when the end times will come, so he begins warning others in an attempt to secure his place in heaven.
The Flanders rent their rumpus room to a pair of college-age women who use it to run a soft-core webcam, making Ned so embarrassed that he moves his family to Humble, Pa.