Homer is sent to jail after a brawl at the Springfield St. Patrick's Day parade; Marge unwittingly begins working at an erotic bakery.
Bart takes a job at a country club retrieving golf balls to help save up money to buy a cell phone; while watching celebrities at the course, Bart finds Denis Leary's cell phone and makes prank calls pretending to be Leary.
Lenny wins the lottery and invites the Simpson family to a celebratory party at a luxurious hotel; Bart meets his exact look-alike, Simon, a member of the richest family in Springfield, and they decide to switch places.
Homer kills celebrities so their likenesses can be exploited free-of-charge; Lisa and Milhouse go to a pumpkin patch and wait for the appearance of the Grand Pumpkin.
The Simpson family takes a vacation at a cabin in the woods; Homer and Marge recall their courtship and the early years of their marriage.
Lisa discovers her incredible talent for solving crossword puzzles and enters a tournament; Homer goes to cheer Lisa on and discovers underground betting on the competition.
Homer thinks Bart's new friend is orchestrating a terrorist plot and tries to warn the residents of Springfield about the imminent disaster.
Lisa fights to save Springfield's bee population when Mr. Burns' plans for a new sports arena endangers it.
A creative new friend named Juliet (guest voice Emily Blunt) helps Lisa create a fantasy world.
Homer wonders what life would have been like if he had been elected class president in high school.
Bart is told he is exempt from taking the Vice President's Assessment Test after receiving a perfect score on a practice test; Homer, late on making an insurance payment, tries to avoid accidents.
When Homer and Marge's adjustable-rate mortgage skyrockets, they have to put their house up for sale.
After nuns at a convent take Maggie in, Lisa comes up with a plan to rescue her.
The family takes Grandpa to Ireland for a last pint at his favorite pub, where Homer and Grandpa decide to buy the business and hire Moe to run it.
After learning that their marriage is in-valid, Homer asks Marge to renew their vows, but he mysteriously disappears before the wedding.
Homer tries to spend more time with Maggie; Moe falls for a woman he met on the Internet.
Milhouse takes the fall for a prank he and Bart pull together; Bart falls for a volunteer (guest voice Anne Hathaway) at Grampa's nursing home; Lisa predicts Springfield's future and is depressed by what she sees.
Homer decides to closely monitor Bart and Lisa to force them to succeed; Marge finds it difficult to resist the sauna she finds in the basement.
Marge and Homer rent an apartment in an upscale neighborhood so Lisa and Bart can go to a better school.
Lisa and Marge engage in a spirited debate at the nail salon.