The family travels to New York in search of Bart's long-lost love (guest voice Zooey Deschanel).
In ancient times, Homer and Marge observe the Mayans predicting that 2012 will be the end of the world; Marge faces the consequences of an unholy pact she once made; Bart travels back in time to buy a comic book.
Marge grows to dislike her new car because it wouldn't be big enough if they were to decide to have another baby; Bart and his friend spy on Lisa.
Homer and Marge try to track down a missing Grampa by following clues that lead to secrets from his past; Lisa starts gambling online.
Homer learns his bowling buddy does accounting for the mob; Lisa starts eating insects after she passes out while playing her saxophone.
To cheer Homer up, Lisa tries to win a MyPad for him; Ned finds a tree in the Simpsons' backyard with the word "hope" spelled out in the bark.
Homer befriends his hip new neighbors from Portland, Ore., but Marge disapproves of their parenting methods, and Bart finds their son pretentious.
When Grampa is forced to move back in with the Simpsons, Homer throws his back out; as he recovers, Homer becomes addicted to a game.
Homer joins a survivalist group whose leader has set up a retreat to prepare for the end of the world, despite Marge's skepticism about the group's shenanigans.
The fate of Springfield Elementary rests on Bart's score on a standardized test; Homer finds a parking meter at the dump and starts using it to scam drivers.
A tornado inspires Homer and Marge to look for guardians for the kids in case something bad happens; Marge questions the motives of potential guardians.
Mary Spuckler (guest voice Zooey Deschanel) returns to Springfield and pulls Bart's heartstrings once again; Homer winds up in the dog house.
Bart and Milhouse explore the perks of adulthood following a shaving experiment; Marge tries to save Maggie from the dangers of children's TV; includes a broadcast of Oscar-nominated short film "Maggie Simpson in: The Longest Daycare."
When Grampa's former life as a pro-wrestler comes to light, Mr. Burns convinces him to stage a comeback; Bart starts adopting some of Grampa's characters' bad habits.
Flanders's parents prefer Homer's company to his, making him jealous; Lisa's new substitute teacher bullies her.
Lisa must defend her brother when Bart is falsely accused of pulling a prank on Easter; Mr. Burns tries to fulfill his dream of becoming a superhero.
Homer tries to fix things when Marge gets tired of his behavior; Milhouse, inspired by "A Streetcar Named Desire," tries to attract Lisa with a bad-boy persona.
A trendy new pastor (guest voice Edward Norton) asks Homer to be a church deacon, but when Homer starts to get a little too fervent, Bart asks Flanders for help finding their former pastor.
Venture capitalists take an interest in Moe's homemade whiskey; Grampa hurts himself and learns he prefers being in the care of Bart over the nursing home; Lisa finds the hologram of a jazz legend offensive.
Marge hires a beautiful piano instructor to help Bart explore his creative side; Homer loses his last two hairs.
When Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl win the lottery, Carl takes off to Iceland with all the money.